19
Aug
09

Shit Entry

Wanna know where Ive been?

Wanna know where I've been?

Regardless of that.. I have a new post for you.

My life.

My life.

Hello! It is me, the Comic Dissector and I’m baa~aack!

I had a super-fun summer as a some sort of Odd-job Man working wherever I just got even one cent per hour and as you can belive I was very busy. So busy, in fact that I had no time for anything else than eating, sleeping and visiting toilet for various bodily functions.

Some people say that sitting in the toilet will give them the best ideas for whatever artistry they might practise and I find this to be true! Unfortunately I am just a pitiful, poor blogger so it might just be that I came up with the worst idea I ever had for a blog entry.

I will blog to you about finnish toilet paper mascots.

Let’s start with the lamest one

Flowers for your butt

Flowers for your butt

Yeah, that’s.. pretty tasteful. A logo-like flower that completely avoids the idea of the intended use. People will love that. But they have one other product that bothers me.

An.. elephant?

An.. elephant?

..why is there an elephant!?

..um, okay I guess elephants are water-absorbent? But still – WHAT!?

At least Lotus is not using every single tactic awailable to avoid telling people that.. GASP! Toilet paper is used in toilet to wipe your butt! Who would’ve known?! Because the next mascots will be all about trying to hide the intended use. No matter what.

Or what would you say about this:

BUY TOILET PAPER! BAAH.

BUY TOILET PAPER! BAAH.

Yes, it seriously is the mascot for Lambi brand of toilet paper. They even named it to sound like a baby sheep! Oh my god it’s almost like Bambi! First Bambi’s mother dies, then he has downgraded to dress up as a sheep to sell toilet paper! Oh the world! The times!

If this doesn’t offend your delicate sensibilities then nothing will! Just look at it!

Could you?

Could you?

Seriously. Who could. What kind of a monster could..

:(

😦

..sigh

Okay, that was kinda sad. Let me tell you a rather appropriate joke.

I belive this joke to have russian origins by the way

I belive this joke to have russian origins by the way

Oh, by the way, try to guess what the next mascot is.

Go on.

Do you shed?

Do you shed?

I’m not sure if this shows incredibly bad sense of humour or if it’s completely unintentional but it’s still incredibly hilarious. A squirrel!? Haven’t they ever heard any jokes? And why do people insist on using cute animals as toilet paper mascots WHY!?

To quote The Amazing Atheist:

“..in these(toilet paper) ads no one ever uses it in it’s intended purpose! Every time I see a toilet paper ad, it’s always with some idiot with this BIG fake smile on their big, dumb face, rubbing the toilet paper against them like “OH it’s so soft ahahaha!” like all we need toilet paper for is softness! We just have deficiency of softness in our house, we just need some sort of paper to rub on our faces to remind us how pleasant softness is. ..Personally, I use the stuff to wipe my ass!”

To be honest.. I’m really glad at least America doesn’t have the creepy mental image of using cute, fluffy animals as toilet paper. But it doesn’t end to that, oh no. That Serla-squirrel has to put up with much worse stuff than just being toilet paper.

Someone call PETA!

Someone call PETA!

Who thought it was a good idea to use a fluffy animal as their mascot!? What is wrong with these people? At least they didn’t make the tissues SHAPED like squirrels and sheep, gotta give them that.. EDIT: oh no, sorry I was too hasty. Lambi toilet paper actually has pictures of sheep in it. I feel so violated.

But elephant is still not the first thing in my mind when I think of  “water absorbent”

Usually I see them in pink

Usually I see them in pink

Sources:

http://www.lambi.com/portal/fi/

http://www.serla.com/portal/suomi/

http://www.lotusfamily.net/fi/frontpage.aspx

The video “Hypocritical Mass” by TheAmazingAtheist on Youtube

Ps. Don’t you just love the “possibly related posts”?

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18 Responses to “Shit Entry”


  1. August 20, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Great to see you back, man! We were almost getting worried here :>

    • 2 finnishcomicsdissected
      August 20, 2009 at 11:57 pm

      Whoa, nice to see you still hanging around here. Better not dissapoint you.
      ..and it takes more than four moths of shitty jobs and hangover-mornings to kill me!

  2. 3 Link
    September 14, 2009 at 11:25 am

    You’re BACK!
    This better mean more posts from you! I really thought your blog was abandoned!
    *dances* Hoorahh!!! 8D

  3. 4 Link
    September 14, 2009 at 11:30 am

    Whoa, just realized, about a month late, sorry for comment spammage! I signed my email up for notifications but never received any :\ Now I read the replies and the date and everything I’m in slightly better knowledge 😀
    Know what’s great about this place? The harsh critique makes me lol, AND I get more knowledge on what I should and shouldn’t do when making Manga and stuff 8D
    I’ll stop spamming now x3 *bricks self*

    • 5 finnishcomicsdissected
      October 16, 2009 at 3:52 pm

      It doesn’t matter, no one’s NEVER late to comment on this blog. I am slow and hardly know what month it is, so if you hadn’t said anything I wouldn’t have noticed that your comment was a month late. To be honest, I don’t know how late I am here to reply. ahaha.. haa..

      But yes! Thank you kind sir! I’ll try and be more regular.
      Emphasis on the word “try”

      • 6 Link
        October 16, 2009 at 6:40 pm

        Hurhurhur, about to go off and read the new entry >D

        YES! Regular posts!!!
        Please 8D
        I love your blog, it’s so god damned awesome xD

  4. September 16, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Ahahaha this is gold. Lovin’ especially the lamb one…

    Over here we have bears, whales… and one that says “Danke” which means “Thank you” in German. :’D

    • 8 finnishcomicsdissected
      October 16, 2009 at 3:56 pm

      WHALES!? How does that relate to toilet paper? I love this industry, it’s absolutely bonkers.

      ..I want some danke-toilet paper

  5. 9 Ivan the Rabrabian
    September 16, 2009 at 11:01 am

    Hey, great job with the blog! I am forced to put this into my bookmarks 🙂

  6. 11 Nuunuu
    September 22, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    This blog is brilliant. I want MOAR, kthxbai.

  7. 15 Mura
    October 24, 2009 at 7:11 am

    Hey, sup.
    I’m having a blast reading your blog and i stumbled into this article that kept me laughing at 2am.
    Let me tell you something, there is at least one brand of toilet paper that actually advertise it for whipping your butt, but i don’t know if it’s the same campaign all over the world or if it exists outside of México(your blog reaches far, man) the brand is Charmin and there are this bears in the commercial and they imply actually using said toilet paper. after a quick search i found that it is indeed a bit international, here yt link for ya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBNcQgkXEWE creepy as they might be, they are selling a good thing, everybody hates bits of toilet paper stuck to their hair ass, right?

    keep up the good work

    • 16 Mura
      October 24, 2009 at 7:12 am

      sorry for the double post, but now i can see from where the bear joke comes XDDDD

    • 17 Erkki
      October 24, 2009 at 2:06 pm

      Well, those bears don’t have to use squirrels anymore! And for some reason I don’t even find them creepy, but I get stuck on things like how well they are simplified and how well they are made, so..
      Those bears could very well be used in some “normal” kid’s show! But they’re toilet paper mascots? whaaattt xD

      ..and daymn! I started this blog in english because I though other north european might be interested, but there seems to be readers all over the globe.

      Thank you!


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