Shit Entry

Wanna know where I've been?

Regardless of that.. I have a new post for you.

My life.

Hello! It is me, the Comic Dissector and I’m baa~aack!

I had a super-fun summer as a some sort of Odd-job Man working wherever I just got even one cent per hour and as you can belive I was very busy. So busy, in fact that I had no time for anything else than eating, sleeping and visiting toilet for various bodily functions.

Some people say that sitting in the toilet will give them the best ideas for whatever artistry they might practise and I find this to be true! Unfortunately I am just a pitiful, poor blogger so it might just be that I came up with the worst idea I ever had for a blog entry.

I will blog to you about finnish toilet paper mascots.

Let’s start with the lamest one

Flowers for your butt

Yeah, that’s.. pretty tasteful. A logo-like flower that completely avoids the idea of the intended use. People will love that. But they have one other product that bothers me.

An.. elephant?

..why is there an elephant!?

..um, okay I guess elephants are water-absorbent? But still – WHAT!?

At least Lotus is not using every single tactic awailable to avoid telling people that.. GASP! Toilet paper is used in toilet to wipe your butt! Who would’ve known?! Because the next mascots will be all about trying to hide the intended use. No matter what.

Or what would you say about this:

BUY TOILET PAPER! BAAH.

Yes, it seriously is the mascot for Lambi brand of toilet paper. They even named it to sound like a baby sheep! Oh my god it’s almost like Bambi! First Bambi’s mother dies, then he has downgraded to dress up as a sheep to sell toilet paper! Oh the world! The times!

If this doesn’t offend your delicate sensibilities then nothing will! Just look at it!

Could you?

Seriously. Who could. What kind of a monster could..

😦

..sigh

Okay, that was kinda sad. Let me tell you a rather appropriate joke.

I belive this joke to have russian origins by the way

Oh, by the way, try to guess what the next mascot is.

Go on.

…

Do you shed?

I’m not sure if this shows incredibly bad sense of humour or if it’s completely unintentional but it’s still incredibly hilarious. A squirrel!? Haven’t they ever heard any jokes? And why do people insist on using cute animals as toilet paper mascots WHY!?

To quote The Amazing Atheist:

“..in these(toilet paper) ads no one ever uses it in it’s intended purpose! Every time I see a toilet paper ad, it’s always with some idiot with this BIG fake smile on their big, dumb face, rubbing the toilet paper against them like “OH it’s so soft ahahaha!” like all we need toilet paper for is softness! We just have deficiency of softness in our house, we just need some sort of paper to rub on our faces to remind us how pleasant softness is. ..Personally, I use the stuff to wipe my ass!”

To be honest.. I’m really glad at least America doesn’t have the creepy mental image of using cute, fluffy animals as toilet paper. But it doesn’t end to that, oh no. That Serla-squirrel has to put up with much worse stuff than just being toilet paper.

Someone call PETA!

Who thought it was a good idea to use a fluffy animal as their mascot!? What is wrong with these people? At least they didn’t make the tissues SHAPED like squirrels and sheep, gotta give them that.. EDIT: oh no, sorry I was too hasty. Lambi toilet paper actually has pictures of sheep in it. I feel so violated.

But elephant is still not the first thing in my mind when I think of  “water absorbent”

Usually I see them in pink

Sources:

http://www.lambi.com/portal/fi/

http://www.serla.com/portal/suomi/

http://www.lotusfamily.net/fi/frontpage.aspx

The video “Hypocritical Mass” by TheAmazingAtheist on Youtube

Ps. Don’t you just love the “possibly related posts”?